Days 5, 6, and 7

Saturday Day 5 Level 1. Skimped on final set of abs but otherwise okay.

Sunday Day 6 Level 1. Didn't do it. Choose to hang with my family instead.

Monday Day 7 Level 1.

Thoughts: I almost made myself go back to Day 1 since I managed yet again to not do it for consecutive days. Then I decided to give myself a break and call this Day 7. But I hated Day 7. I found myself really out of breath and really struggling. I actually quit halfway through the last cardio circuit which I have never done in all of my times of doing this video. I really didn't want to do it and was feeling angry about it. (I never claimed to be rational.) I think part of my problem is that I can't do it when I want - I have a very small window of time when my kids are in bed that I can do it and I often don't want to spend that little window of time exercising. So I think tomorrow I might let the kids hang in their bedrooms for an extra 30 minutes and do it first thing in the morning. Maybe getting it done early will help.

Day 4

Exercise: Day 4, Level 1
Thoughts: I wasn't really feeling it today but I did it anyway. I didn't really give it my all but I figure it was better than nothing. Tomorrow will be the test...I've rarely made myself exercise on the weekend. I blame it on time but I really just want to laze around and rest.

Food:
Breakfast: grilled chicken
Lunch: ravioli

Day 3

It is rather freeing to not have any readers here. No one cares if I don't get around to doing this post until late in the day.

Exercise: Day 3, Level 1

Thoughts: Same as yesterday. I couldn't do the second set of jumpropes in circuit 1 so I substituted butt kicks. I've also noticed my balance isn't very good when doing the static lunges/bicep curls. I hope that improves with time.

Food:
Snack yesterday: carrots and dip
Dinner yesterday: pepperoni pizza
Breakfast: ham, green beans, potatoes
Snack: chicken, cream cheese, tortilla chips
Lunch: chicken salad sandwich on whole wheat
Snack: out for ice cream cone with family
Dinner: grilled chicken, rice, corn

Thoughts: Obviously, I'm not going to win any nutritional prizes for the past 24 hours. But no excuses. It is what it is. I'm not here to justify. I'm just here to report the truth.

Day 2

Exercise: Day 2, Shred Level 1

Thoughts: I don't love this DVD but it fits into the time I squeeze into the day for myself and has produced good results for others. I find Ciruit 1 the hardest of level 1. I've never been able to do a push up. I hate jumping jacks and the jump rope kills my quads. The squat and press kills my arms - sometimes I have to cut out early with the arms and just keep up the squats. Circuit 2 is the easiest for me. In Circuit 3, side lunge and arm raises also kill my arms. And I can't do the bicycle crunches so I do basic and then reverse crunches instead.

Food
Breakfast: green beans, ham, red potatoes
Snack: chicken & cream cheese w/tortilla chips
Lunch: chicken salad sandwich on whole wheat toast (made w/low fat mayo)
I'll finish the rest of today's food in tomorrow's entry. I will likely be posting around the same time every day so that will work best for me.

Thoughts: I've made the choice to not do a diet. I'm trying to make some healthier choices and keep my portions reasonable. Some might said this is because I'm not committed. I choose to believe it is because I am trying to live a healthier life rather than go on a diet. We'll see how it plays out.

I took a before photo but I'm not posting it until I have some progress to show.

Day 1, Take 37

Let's back date this to yesterday - June 23, 2009.

I'm starting the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels for the umpteenth time. I've never gotten more than 6 days in a row before taking a day off. And once I take a day off, I justify another because I've already broken the 30 day chain. Then those 2 days turn into a week - and you get the idea.

I bought the DVD in January. I found myself many months post partum, no longer breast feeding, and suddenly weighing what I did at 9 months pregnant. Now, 6 months further down the road, I weigh even more than I did in January. Something has to change. I need to document this somewhere so I can feel accountable. I am doing this somewhat anonymously - although I know nothing is truly anonymous on line these days - because I am ashamed. I am ashamed of how I look. I am ashamed that I avoid looking in the mirror. I am ashamed of how my clothes fit. I am ashamed at my lack of motivation and lack of self-control. Something has to change.

Yesterday, Tuesday June 23rd, I started the 30 Day Shred. Again. I'm going to treat myself like an alcoholic: One Day at A Time.

Exercise: Shredded Level 1, Day 1

Food:
Breakfast - green beans, red potatoes, ham
Snack - celery, carrots, ranch dip
Lunch - chicken salad sandwich (made w/light mayo on whole wheat bread)
Snack - celery, carrots, ranch dip (made w/reduced fat sour cream)
Dinner - broiled fish, smashed potatoes, green beans, garlic toast
Snack - handful of peanut M&Ms

Overall, happy I exercised. Food choices weren't bad but weren't great. I shouldn't have had garlic toast or M&Ms.