Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Breakfast this morning was Kashi Warm Cinnamon Heart to Heart cereal. I think this looks even more like cat food than the Honey Toasted flavor. I wasn't a big fan of the taste either. And half a banana.
Lunch so far (it has been a busy day) has been a handful of peanuts and a couple of wheat thins with hummus. I'll find some protein - maybe some turkey - and a pear.
Dinner tonight is undecided. Last night, I made chicken verde. My husband loves this dish. It used to be enchiladas but I started just baking the filling and he can crush some tortilla chips on it and I can have it plain. I'll share the recipe but you can really do whatever you want with it.
2 chicken breasts, cooked and shredded
1 can black beans
1 small bag frozen corn (canned works too)
1 can diced chiles (1 can diced jalapenos too if you like heat)
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 TBL cumin
Dash ground chipotle pepper
1 jar salsa verde (easy to make if you have access to fresh tomatillos)
Handful of fresh cilantro if you have it
1 cup shredded cheese of choice (I used 2% mexican blend)
Throw it all together and bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Can serve with chips and sour cream if desired.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Breakfast looked like this:
This was the first time I tried the yoplait greek yogurt and I couldn't finish it. I like yogurt but I wasn't a fan of this stuff. It felt gritty in my mouth. I choked down about half of it.
Lunch will likely be a salad. Dinner isn't decided yet but will probably be a chicken verde (used to be enchiladas but I've stopped wrapping the mixture in tortillas and just bake it) concoction that we like. Last night dinner looked like this:
That is tilapia (drizzled w/a little olive oil then a spicy rub and broiled), baby peas, and a Green Giant Steamfresh mix of red potatoes and green beans - it was pretty good for a quick microwave thing. We eat on salad plates almost every night - and only a little bit because it controls portions a bit. We started doing it when we bought this set of dishes because the dinner plates are enormous. We had no idea how big they really were until we brought them home - our cupboard doors don't quite close and they don't fit in the dishwasher. So I use them as serving dishes and we eat off the of the salad plates which are a generous size. I have some dinner plates from another set that aren't as gigantic that we use if we need a larger plate for some reason (corn on the cob, etc).
Monday, March 22, 2010
This was breakfast. The Kashi Heart to Heart Honey Toasted Cereal looks suspiciously like cat food. It tastes a little better than I imagine cat food must taste. I will finish the box but I'm not sure I will buy it again. At only 120 calories for the 3/4 cup serving I guess I can't complain. Also some turkey because I am trying to have protein with eat meal. Breakfast (w/milk on cereal) came in just over 200 calories.
Friday, March 19, 2010
All of my life, food and calories have been bad things. Even before my weight was truly an issue, my weight obsessed family made it one. Baby fat was just plain old fat. Now I am working hard to get more fat on my youngest and it is weird because it goes against everything I've been taught is right. I make pudding with full fat milk AND add powdered milk to boost the calories. I make her blueberry muffins (from a mix - I don't bake) that call for 3 eggs and 1/3 cup of oil for 10 muffins - the calories in the muffins are obscene. Then I make myself a salad and try not to lick the spoon. It is just funny in that laughter bordering on hysteria kind of way.
Her doctor said "If she is eating bread, it should have butter on it." And "Gravy is good." So I spend much of my day singing Alanis Morrissette in my head "Isn't it ironic?"
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Yesterday, I'm not sure what I ate for breakfast. Lunch was chicken salad and left over steamed broccoli. Dinner was a taco-ish salad (taco meat, black olives, green onions, lots of lettuce, a little shredded cheese, and a little light catalina dressing), 1/4 cup of black beans, and 1/4 cup of Spanish rice.
This morning's breakfast was 2 eggs, 2 pieces of wheat bread, and 2 cups of coffee w/1 cup of skim milk. I've been having 1 egg and 1 piece of bread but I was really hungry this morning. Lunch will most likely be a salad as pictured/described in previous days. Dinner is most likely going to be Shrimp Gyoza (Trader Joe's) and steamed broccoli.
Hit the gym this morning (traded days with my husband since I couldn't go yesterday). Did my normal 20 minutes on the bike, most of the weight machines, and 12 minutes on the True Stride elliptical thingy.
I have refused to buy clothing for me at this size. I have been wearing clothes formerly boxed up and labeled "Fat Clothes". The last time I lost a significant amount of weight, I was afraid to get rid of my clothes because I hoped to be pregnant at some point. I didn't want to have to buy fat clothes if I needed them briefly after pregnancy. My baby is going to be 2 this summer so "briefly" wasn't so brief. I never dreamed I would balloon up and stay here after pregnancy. But here I am. So I dug out those boxes and have been wearing those clothes. They don't all fit well because pregnancy changed my body. And most were professional clothes and I'm a stay at home mom. So I've been wearing just a few things for the past 18 months. I didn't want to buy anything new because that felt like admitting I was going to stay fat. (My closet is full of my skinny clothes for the same reason.) I've bought some work out clothes but that was about it. Until yesterday. I finally had to admit that I needed a couple of shirts because having children has ruined my old shirts (stains and stretched out from the constantly tugging on me). I hated doing it and only allowed myself 2 shirts from the clearance rack and 1 shirt that was on sale. I spent less than $20. I will admit to feeling a little better with a couple of decent tops but I still hate investing in anything this size.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Food wise I didn't do my Fit Day log either day because we were busy and I was lazy. I didn't eat fabulously but I did watch my portions. Sunday I had coffee in the morning but didn't eat anything until 3:30pm. I don't know why. But I managed to graze a little rather than inhale 2 meals worth of food because I was so hungry.
Saturday I went to the gym. I did 25 minutes on the bike w/ the arm poles. I did all of the weight machines except a couple of leg ones because my quads are still sore. Then I finished with 12 minutes on the True Stride (kind of like an elliptical w/o the incline and with arm poles). Amazing that 12 minutes on it burned more calories and claimed almost the same distance as 25 minutes on the bike.
Sunday I didn't do much of anything exercise wise.
Food: Breakfast looked like this. It is a little more than a cup of chicken salad (made with shredded, poached chicken breast, a little light mayo, green onion, a little juice from the dill pickle jar, and a mix of dried cranberries, cherries, blueberries, and golden raisins) and coffee with 1/2 cup of skim milk (and probably a second cup just like the first to follow). Assuming the second cup of coffee, I'm at about 365 calories for breakfast.
Lunch will likely look like the salad posted last week. I bought a big bin of baby spring mix at Sam's Club this weekend so lots of salads in my future.
Exercise: Today was one of my gym mornings (husband and I are trading off mornings before he goes to work). I don't have as much time during the week because I have to get back home so my husband can get going to work but I managed 20 minutes on the bike w/ the arm poles. I did a circuit of the weight machines except a few of the leg ones again - still babying my quads. I finished with 12 minutes on the True Stride.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Friday nights are usually take out/order in night in our house. I thought we might skip it tonight since we ordered in last night but my husband wanted to go out. We ended up at an Italian place and let's just say it wasn't pretty. I got veal parmesan it was yummy. And we got cheesecake. Lots of bad food decisions but we had a fun evening out as a family. My only saving grace was that I was only at about 600 calories when we left the house for dinner. Calories still ended up much higher than I would like for the day but the damage could have been worse if I hadn't been eating well up until then today.
It is all good. In the past, I might have used tonight as an excuse to just throw the whole weekend (or week or month) out the window food wise. I mean, I already messed it up so why bother? But I'm not feeling that way tonight. I am feeling fine. I will go to the gym tomorrow. I will stop at the store to stock up on salad fixings and keep plodding along. This is life. I like food. I'm not going to stop enjoying food...I just need to stop abusing it.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I did fall off the band wagon. For a variety of reasons or excuses depending how you wish to see it. I didn't make it 30 days with the shred. I started alternating it with a strength video and then some medical things came up that prevented me from doing anything that strenuous for awhile. Then I got lazy. Then medical crap again. Then the holidays. Then I got lazy. And I find myself almost 9 months later trying to get back to it.
First? I quit the shred. I hate it. I might pull it out now and then if I can't do anything else because it is quick. But I just hate it too much to make myself do it regularly. BUT I will say that I started doing the strength video of my husband's that I mentioned in my last post (ahem...9 months ago) and it seems ridiculously easy. Then I quit doing anything for a little while and tried to do the strength video again and WHOA it wasn't so easy any more. So I may hate Jillian but I was getting results even if I didn't see them.
New plan. I'm not making any promises. I'm treating this like AA - One Day At A Time. (No, I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a former addiction counselor. Addicted to food - irony?) So I hope to post here regularly again but I can't promise I won't disappear. Let's just hope it is for days rather than most of a year.
We've joined a gym. My husband and I are alternating mornings before the girls are up and before he goes to work. I used to go to the gym almost daily when I was single and before kids. I do enjoy it more than a video or treadmill at home. Well maybe enjoy isn't the right word. I'm cheap and I don't want to waste my money. Plus once I'm there, I feel all of the eyes judging me if I quit too soon. So frugality and peer pressure for the win. Whatever works.
On the days I don't go to the gym, I'm going to try and do SOMETHING at home. Today it was the treadmill because it is raining outside. That something might just be a stroll with the kids - but I need to get my ass off the couch.
Yesterday (3/10/10) was my first day at the gym. I did 12 minutes on the cross trainer thing (like an elliptical). I hate that thing - always have. It kicks my butt (or my quads to be more precise). Then I did all of the weight machines minus the quad one because they were already burning and I have a tendency to rip them and then not be able to do anything for a week - including get off the toilet without whimpering. And finished with 15 minutes on the bike that also has arm poles. I was there for just over an hour.
Breakfast: 1 egg, 1 piece of wheat bread (no butter), 2 cups of coffee with about 1 cup of skim milk total (I like it light and my mug is huge).
Exercise: 31 minutes on the treadmill here at home. I burned 195 calories and walked 1.4 miles.
Lunch: big salad with turkey, feta, and a small amount of sunflower seeds, pepitas, and dried cranberries and dried cherries. 2 T dressing
Snack: will be Smart Pop Kettle Corn
Dinner will be unhealthy BBQ pork take out. And margaritas. It is girls night. I'm not giving up the good stuff just hoping to watch my portions.
Final confession: at my last doctor appointment I was 226 pounds (I am 5'8 not 6'5 so that is an ugly number). Short(ish) term is to get under 200. We'll go from there.