At the same time I am working to lose weight, I am working to plump up my youngest child. The doctor is concerned that she isn't gaining weight as quickly as she should (currently in the 2nd percentile for her age group). We've been through some testing and haven't found anything so we have resorted to packing as many calories into her foods as we can.
All of my life, food and calories have been bad things. Even before my weight was truly an issue, my weight obsessed family made it one. Baby fat was just plain old fat. Now I am working hard to get more fat on my youngest and it is weird because it goes against everything I've been taught is right. I make pudding with full fat milk AND add powdered milk to boost the calories. I make her blueberry muffins (from a mix - I don't bake) that call for 3 eggs and 1/3 cup of oil for 10 muffins - the calories in the muffins are obscene. Then I make myself a salad and try not to lick the spoon. It is just funny in that laughter bordering on hysteria kind of way.
Her doctor said "If she is eating bread, it should have butter on it." And "Gravy is good." So I spend much of my day singing Alanis Morrissette in my head "Isn't it ironic?"